How Long do I trust?
Waking up each morning in constant physical pain, the feelings of loneliness that surround me, the feeling of being Spiritually dead, feeling helpless in every situation, feeling frustrated with constant questions... This is my life right now.
Some people tell me to, "Run to God and just trust God."
I am going to be honest, when people tell me that, it makes me feel extremely helpless. It makes me feel even more alone. I feel like God isn't there. I feel that there is a constant silence right now. I am trying hard to trust God in all of these circumstances that I am facing daily. But then I feel like God isn't there. I feel like He just wants to keep giving me trial after trial without any reason.
I know that I need to trust God, I really do. I keep trying it, and it is really hard and almost seems impossible some days. But I am trying... Even when I feel like God doesn't care or that He is ignoring, I constantly try and push myself to trust and Surrender to God.
But how long? How long do I keep when I don't feel God near me? How long do I surrender? How long do I trust Him?
These are all questions that I am facing recently.
Prayers and encouragement would be really helpful right now as I am going through this really rough journey.
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