When you are losing Hope

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As I sit here in tears laying in my bed I am pondering life. Constantly wondering when this emotional, mental, and physical pain is going to be over... It is constantly hurting. Some days I just get tired of holding the pain in. I want to be able to share it with someone and not feel like I am doing it completely alone. Most days, I get scared sharing with my closest friends... But then I have to remind myself that they are here for me and are going to be here to point me to Christ and be a shoulder to cry on.
Yes, I am tired of this hurt. I am tired of always pretending that my life is fine when in reality it is not okay. Daily, I find myself clinging and leaning on God. Because I am reminded that God is always here for me even when my family has failed me or even when I feel like I am going through this pain alone. 

Some days I want to be able to use my voice to share with others what is going on... But then I clam up and believe that people will just not believe me. It hurts like hell. Some days I just sit in my room crying for many hours praying that I would feel God's arm around me. That I would continually surrender my life to Christ even when others frustrate me or treat me poorly. 

I have been learning a ton. Even when others treat you like trash or when others do not admit to doing wrong to you... God always knows the truth. God will always be there for you no matter what is going on in your life. Even if you are alone and by yourself, you are truly not alone... Because God will always be there for you. 
Continually trust Him even when you feel like losing hope. There are many days that I feel like just ending it all... But then I am reminded at God's amazingness and His grace. Trust Him! He has a plan for it even when it does not feel like it.

The song above has been a huge encouragement to me through a time of hurt and a time of feeling alone. It is such a great reminder of truths that God is there for you and that He has a plan for you. 

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