Trying on Someone else's Shoes
Some mornings I wake up completely frustrated and asking myself these questions: When these health issues will get better? When my life will slow down and I will not be so stressed? When will people not set such high expectations for me? When will I feel that I am not a failure? So many questions constantly roaming through my head and me feeling like I can never be good enough.
Honestly, it has been a really rough few months. Waiting for Drs. to figure out what is wrong with me, people getting frustrated at me and telling me that I am not doing good enough, people telling me that I am ugly and not worth being a friend. School gets super busy and overwhelming, people calling me a failure, pretty much living in pain constantly with my disease, and so many other things. It has been a very difficult journey. Some days I just want this pain to disappear and then friends have to continually remind me that God has a plan for it. If we are being honest, even when people tell me that God has a plan for all of this... Some times it is hard to know that He really does have a plan (especially when in the midst of it).
Some people tell me that I am not trusting God and that I need to do better if I feel depressed. But to be honest, I am trusting God. However, when we are going through things like these, some days it becomes very hard to trust God. Yes, I still trust God... There are just some days where it becomes very difficult. Some days I feel blinded... Even when I read my Bible on certain days, there are days that I feel like I am just reading words on a page and it means nothing to me. Those days are very discouraging, because I feel like I am doing something wrong.
If you are someone who may tell someone that they are not trusting God enough... Try and put yourself in their situation. Sometimes when you are in the midst of something you cannot see the things that are right in front of you. Instead of judging quickly and lecturing, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand that we will not always see the things right in front of us.
Honestly, it has been a really rough few months. Waiting for Drs. to figure out what is wrong with me, people getting frustrated at me and telling me that I am not doing good enough, people telling me that I am ugly and not worth being a friend. School gets super busy and overwhelming, people calling me a failure, pretty much living in pain constantly with my disease, and so many other things. It has been a very difficult journey. Some days I just want this pain to disappear and then friends have to continually remind me that God has a plan for it. If we are being honest, even when people tell me that God has a plan for all of this... Some times it is hard to know that He really does have a plan (especially when in the midst of it).
Some people tell me that I am not trusting God and that I need to do better if I feel depressed. But to be honest, I am trusting God. However, when we are going through things like these, some days it becomes very hard to trust God. Yes, I still trust God... There are just some days where it becomes very difficult. Some days I feel blinded... Even when I read my Bible on certain days, there are days that I feel like I am just reading words on a page and it means nothing to me. Those days are very discouraging, because I feel like I am doing something wrong.
If you are someone who may tell someone that they are not trusting God enough... Try and put yourself in their situation. Sometimes when you are in the midst of something you cannot see the things that are right in front of you. Instead of judging quickly and lecturing, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand that we will not always see the things right in front of us.
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