Broken

The past few days have been a struggle for me. I have been stressed with loads of schoolwork, working 15+ hours a week, running errands, keeping up with my Spiritual Walk, trying to keep up with chores, working on my health, and still trying to keep a semi social life. It has been pretty insane to say the least.
Lately, I have been having trouble sleeping because my mind seems to race at night and I just cannot ever seem to fall asleep. My memory has been very foggy and I feel like I am constantly losing my mind. I have been trying to stay on top of all that needs to get done, however it has been really challenging.
I have been realizing that I have not made much time at all to relax and just breath.

It has been difficult, because I have been having the most random breakdowns (which I hardly ever have). Just the last few days I have been randomly going about my day, and seconds later I find myself in a puddle of tears. Whether that means I am crying myself to sleep at night or randomly crying while driving to work while blasting Worship music.

I find myself questioning why things got to happen. Wondering why I chained up... I have been continually trying to trust God and give Him everything that is going on in my life... But then I continually find myself back in the corner crying, feeling paralyzed, feeling as if I am completely alone, isolating myself constantly, etc.

Daily, I try to remind myself that God has a plan. He will get me through these trials and this pain. Some days even though it is hard, I find myself thanking God for what He has placed in my life... And other days I wish that I did not have to go through what I am going through.
However, ultimately I really would not ask for God to change my circumstances. I know that some days it hurts like hell... But honestly, I know that He is going to continue to write my story for me. I know that He will bring me through this and that I will be able to use my story to encourage others down the road.
So yes, I am still in pain... I am broken. I am feeling chained up right now. I am feeling completely worn out... But I know that God has a purpose for it, so I am going to keep trusting Him.

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