Surrendering Dating at the Foot of the Cross

Have you ever pondered having a relationship and wanting one so bad that you would do almost anything to be in a relationship? Have you ever pushed aside other close relationships to get one that you want with that right guy or girl? Have you ever procrastinated on a project just because you are thinking about the future dating life? Have you ever been jealous of other people around you being in a relationship and you are not in one? - If you have ever done any of this or have thought this way... Let me just tell you now, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 

For those who know me personally, I have ALWAYS been obsessed with the dream of wanting to be a girlfriend/wife/mom. As long as I can remember, I was always pretending to be a girlfriend/wife/mom even though that was not the reality I lived. No, there is not anything wrong with dreaming of one day becoming these things.

However, the problem begins when those titles become so important to you that you forget the titles (such as: sister/daughter/niece/granddaughter/friend) in your life that you are living right now.

For years, I would push aside friendships if that meant that I could hang out with my crush. I would always put other guys first in my life if they had a potential...rather than caring about my family and other good girl friends. It became super unhealthy and my life became consumed with this obsession. 

I would get angry at God if he would take that male friend out of my life. I was heartbroken any time the guy did not follow through. It was always an emotional roller coaster that I seemed  to live on day in and day out. 

The past couple of years, I moved into having a huge jealous heart with any one of the close people around me that were in a relationship. There were days that I was so angry and if I was around a happy couple it annoyed me like crazy and I became very irritated. I felt that God was forgetting about me and that sometimes He did not love me. I felt like maybe God loved my other friends more to give them what they wanted in a relationship. 

The past month, I have finally allowed God to be the Keeper of my heart. I have learned that I need to surrender my life to Him daily. God really has changed my outlook on relationships... I have seen many friends that have been getting into relationships... And honestly, my heart is full of joy when I see my friends in their relationships. 

Yes, some days are hard and I want to have a boyfriend that I can cuddle with, share adventures with, grow closer to God with, etc. No, that longing has not fully gone away and I do not think that longing will ever go away... However, I am at a place of peace and now I can finally say that I am completely content at where God has me in my life. Yes, I know I am not dating... But I do not need to find my joy and happiness in a man. I can find my joy and happiness in God and know that He is my Ultimate source of Comfort, Peace, and Love. 

This feeling I never thought I would ever feel, but it is so reassuring that even though I am not dating I can have a peace in my life. 

God is truly amazing!

If you are struggling being single, I urge you... surrender that longing to God! I know it may be hard at first, but it is truly worth it. I could not be more happy in my life right now. Yes, some days are challenging... But we have a God that loves us so much that He can be our satisfaction. And one day, if it is the Will of God, He is going to bring you that perfect someone who has also surrendered themselves to God and it will be amazing!

Rest in Christ!